[As soon as Zack sends him off, Cloud makes a beeline for the Blue Fish. To say he's nervous about seeing Aerith again is an understatement. He can still remember the cool, unearthly (super-earthly?) feeling of her hand in his as she pulled him up out of the Crater when everything was collapsing. That was her, wasn't it?
Hell, she might not even remember. She might only remember her last moments, praying to save a world, looking up to see Cloud and then-
Stop.
Cloud drags his hands down his face. This is really too much. This is really, really too much, but he knows he has to see her. Not just for her, for himself; because he won't know a second of peace until he sees her with his own eyes, knows that she really is alive, just like Zack.
The clank of the shuttle docking is too loud in his ears. He could swear it almost rattles his teeth in his head with the force of it, but he barely jostles in his seat. Will she be waiting for him? Will she be happy to see him? Knowing Aerith she'll tell him there's nothing to apologize for even if he says he's sorry, but how else can he say that he wish he'd done more, wish he'd just moved and done something?
When she was younger she waited with her mom, waiting to hear the news that she'd already heard happen. She had waited in her church for the Planet to whisper to her, and that's where she had waited for Zack to come back to her as well. She had even waited for Cloud, once, as she prayed for Holy, hoping that she might have the strength to save the Planet from Sephiroth and Meteor, that she might be able to do something to protect all the people she loved.
Waiting on her ship for Cloud to show up is something entirely different. The anticipation is enough to have her standing up and pacing, wondering if someone from the crew is going to come down and question why there's a stranger wandering around, but she doesn't care. All she cares about is Cloud, and when she hears the sound of the shuttle docking she rushes forward.
He's here. He's here.
Giddiness bursts through her and she steps forward before he can do anything else, her eyes wide and her heart in her throat. ]
[Damn his memory, for having etched her death into his brain so crystal clear that when she looks up at him with that smile on her face, he can almost see the flash of a sword behind her.
Maybe that's what propels him forward, when he was so sure his fear would hold him fast. Maybe that's why he's able to scoop her up in his arms, press his hands to her back to check for wounds (silly, silly, there's nothing there) and maybe that's why he closes his eyes and buries his face in her hair, shaking. She's alive.]
[ As soon as she's in his arm she bursts out a soft noise of surprise, her arms wrapping around him and squeezing him gently. She feels a little overwhelmed, at least initially, and she closes her eyes and does her best to breathe as she leans into his touch and his body.
He's here. He's real and he's shaking a little and he - he's so tired, she's sure, and he's ready for her to take care of him. Leaning against him, she swallows, her throat tight and her hands shaking just as badly as he is as she grips at the back of his shirt. ]
[Honestly, he should reassure her, he should try and comfort her since she's the one who died, but when she says "I missed you" and sounds like she means it, Cloud just ducks his head and holds her a little tighter, not quite sure if he heard her right or not.] You did? [he asks, voice small. The last things that happened between them- they aren't anything to miss. He must have frightened her.]
[ She's squeezed in his arms and, honestly, she doesn't mind. She knows what he saw when she was last alive and it's something he's never let himself forget - Cloud has never forgiven himself, even if she forgave him a long time ago. Breathing out, she leans into his arms and nods her head. ] Of course I did, silly. Why wouldn't I?
Because...of everything that happened, [Cloud mumbles, feeling unreasonably small. This is so selfish of him, he should be comforting and supporting her, but just like with Zack he can't seem to stop himself.] You left, after the temple. I thought... [Well, who wouldn't? He'd known it probably wasn't because she was afraid of him, but he still couldn't help but wonder.]
I left because I knew what I needed to do. I gave you clues to find me, didn't I? [ Maybe, in hindsight, she could've explained things better, but in the end... She had to follow her path. She knew what the Planet wanted, what it needed, and she couldn't pretend otherwise. Leaning back, she looks up at Cloud, expression softening. ] I promise. I missed you, very much.
Yeah, he'd just been too slow to catch on. It really had been his fault; if he'd just left sooner, if he'd moved faster, if he'd moved at all-
Cloud takes a deep breath and draws back, reaching up to cup her face gently in his gloved hands. It's been far too long since he's seen her like this; not surrounded by the ethereal glow of the Lifestream, eyes bright and real. The little soft marks that come with living a life in the slums, tiny nicks on her face and hands, maybe even a faint smattering of freckles... She looks beautiful. She looks real.
...and she's in love with Zack, so he should probably stop oogling her like this.]
I missed you too, [he says quietly, dropping his hands to her shoulders instead.] I thought about you...every step of the way. All of us did.
[ Aerith could spend hours and hours telling Cloud that it's not his fault and, even if it had been, she'd forgiven him a very long time ago, but she feels as though it might be a bit of a losing battle.
Instead, she tilts her head into his hand, closing her eyes and embracing the moment. It might be nicer if she could get him to take off his gloves, but this is wonderful enough. There's nothing but the gentle peace between them, warmth and happiness bubbling under the surface - and she wants to reach out, she wants to wrap her arms around him, she wants to drag him close and never let go, but she knows it's not possible. There's still so much for them to talk about and say, but...
Closing her eyes, she lifts her hand to touch his, fingers wrapping around the back of Cloud's hand tenderly. ]
I was always there. [ Her eyes flick back up and she nods her head. ] I supported you. I hope you knew I was there.
You had the strength too, you know. You couldn't have gotten out if you weren't determined to survive yourself.
[ But she had known it wasn't his time - it wasn't time for him to come and join her and Zack in the Lifestream. The world still needed Cloud, no matter how jealously she wanted to take all of his time and attention. ]
[Cloud's not so sure about that; seems more to him like his life is a rinse-and-repeat cycle of him falling down and being lifted up by someone else, but he can't argue that he's alive because of it.
He just leans forward to wrap his arms around Aerith again, a hand against the back of her head to hold her against his shoulder. How long had he wanted to do this back home after Sephiroth had taken her from them? How many times had he beaten himself up for not doing it more often? Maybe it hadn't been right or good, maybe they never really started anything because they both knew it wasn't the time, but all he could think about for days was how much time he wasted being unsure.
And now...now he's going to do it again. Zack being here, he. It complicates things.]
I don't want to leave, [Cloud admits, because he can at least talk about that.] I'm afraid if I look away, you'll just vanish again.
[ There's a soft place in her heart for him, and it's been there from the moment he tumbled down into her church, reacting to her and protecting her in an instant. She might have been able to outrun the Turks a thousand and one times, but having a bodyguard? It didn't hurt. It became so much more than that, though, didn't it? Her and Cloud, protecting the Planet... He had been with her the entire time, standing at her side, waiting for her, just like she waited for him.
It's what makes it so easy to lean against his shoulder, to let him hold her, to bask in it. She knows that Zack is here, too, but she thinks that of all people he would understand. He'd understand why she can't let go of Cloud and why she reaches for him, too, these two boys that changed her life a thousand times over.
Lifting her hand, she presses her palm flat over his eyes. ]
[She covers his eyes and Cloud starts.] Aerith, what- [Wait for it, she says, and then beams up at him in that way she has, like the smile of a person seeing the sun for the first time in days.
Even with all his convoluted feelings each scrambling for his attention, Cloud can't help but smile and cock his head to the side.] Just that easy, huh? I just need to wait a little bit?
[ It's so easy to cheer Cloud up, sometimes, she thinks to herself. Everyone thinks that he's always Mr. Grumpy Pants but, really, it's the opposite. You just have to give him something good - something to hold onto. She's always found that particularly easy. ]
Just like that. All you have to do is call my name, wait a bit and then I'll be there. Okay?
Goooood this is embarrassing, and he really should stop this...] It just sounds so...fairytale. You can't actually hear me from anywhere just if I say your name.
Well I'm gonna test that, y'know. I'll dial the Aerith hotline at three AM. [He's actually probably gonna panic and do just that hahahahahahahah hahaha hah]
[Rubs the back of his neck...] Aerith... [...nope. Can't confront that just yet.] You know, you can transfer ships. I'll look into how to do it. ...not that it honestly really matters, but like, bunk space and all that business depends on who is where, so.
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Hell, she might not even remember. She might only remember her last moments, praying to save a world, looking up to see Cloud and then-
Stop.
Cloud drags his hands down his face. This is really too much. This is really, really too much, but he knows he has to see her. Not just for her, for himself; because he won't know a second of peace until he sees her with his own eyes, knows that she really is alive, just like Zack.
The clank of the shuttle docking is too loud in his ears. He could swear it almost rattles his teeth in his head with the force of it, but he barely jostles in his seat. Will she be waiting for him? Will she be happy to see him? Knowing Aerith she'll tell him there's nothing to apologize for even if he says he's sorry, but how else can he say that he wish he'd done more, wish he'd just moved and done something?
-she's right there, just past the door.
She was waiting for him.]
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When she was younger she waited with her mom, waiting to hear the news that she'd already heard happen. She had waited in her church for the Planet to whisper to her, and that's where she had waited for Zack to come back to her as well. She had even waited for Cloud, once, as she prayed for Holy, hoping that she might have the strength to save the Planet from Sephiroth and Meteor, that she might be able to do something to protect all the people she loved.
Waiting on her ship for Cloud to show up is something entirely different. The anticipation is enough to have her standing up and pacing, wondering if someone from the crew is going to come down and question why there's a stranger wandering around, but she doesn't care. All she cares about is Cloud, and when she hears the sound of the shuttle docking she rushes forward.
He's here. He's here.
Giddiness bursts through her and she steps forward before he can do anything else, her eyes wide and her heart in her throat. ]
Cloud.
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Maybe that's what propels him forward, when he was so sure his fear would hold him fast. Maybe that's why he's able to scoop her up in his arms, press his hands to her back to check for wounds (silly, silly, there's nothing there) and maybe that's why he closes his eyes and buries his face in her hair, shaking. She's alive.]
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He's here. He's real and he's shaking a little and he - he's so tired, she's sure, and he's ready for her to take care of him. Leaning against him, she swallows, her throat tight and her hands shaking just as badly as he is as she grips at the back of his shirt. ]
I missed you.
[ Why beat around the bush? ]
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Yeah, he'd just been too slow to catch on. It really had been his fault; if he'd just left sooner, if he'd moved faster, if he'd moved at all-
Cloud takes a deep breath and draws back, reaching up to cup her face gently in his gloved hands. It's been far too long since he's seen her like this; not surrounded by the ethereal glow of the Lifestream, eyes bright and real. The little soft marks that come with living a life in the slums, tiny nicks on her face and hands, maybe even a faint smattering of freckles... She looks beautiful. She looks real.
...and she's in love with Zack, so he should probably stop oogling her like this.]
I missed you too, [he says quietly, dropping his hands to her shoulders instead.] I thought about you...every step of the way. All of us did.
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Instead, she tilts her head into his hand, closing her eyes and embracing the moment. It might be nicer if she could get him to take off his gloves, but this is wonderful enough. There's nothing but the gentle peace between them, warmth and happiness bubbling under the surface - and she wants to reach out, she wants to wrap her arms around him, she wants to drag him close and never let go, but she knows it's not possible. There's still so much for them to talk about and say, but...
Closing her eyes, she lifts her hand to touch his, fingers wrapping around the back of Cloud's hand tenderly. ]
I was always there. [ Her eyes flick back up and she nods her head. ] I supported you. I hope you knew I was there.
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But in the end, I saw you. You saved me; I'd have died down there with Sephiroth if you hadn't reached for me.
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[ But she had known it wasn't his time - it wasn't time for him to come and join her and Zack in the Lifestream. The world still needed Cloud, no matter how jealously she wanted to take all of his time and attention. ]
And now you're here, with me.
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He just leans forward to wrap his arms around Aerith again, a hand against the back of her head to hold her against his shoulder. How long had he wanted to do this back home after Sephiroth had taken her from them? How many times had he beaten himself up for not doing it more often? Maybe it hadn't been right or good, maybe they never really started anything because they both knew it wasn't the time, but all he could think about for days was how much time he wasted being unsure.
And now...now he's going to do it again. Zack being here, he. It complicates things.]
I don't want to leave, [Cloud admits, because he can at least talk about that.] I'm afraid if I look away, you'll just vanish again.
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[ There's a soft place in her heart for him, and it's been there from the moment he tumbled down into her church, reacting to her and protecting her in an instant. She might have been able to outrun the Turks a thousand and one times, but having a bodyguard? It didn't hurt. It became so much more than that, though, didn't it? Her and Cloud, protecting the Planet... He had been with her the entire time, standing at her side, waiting for her, just like she waited for him.
It's what makes it so easy to lean against his shoulder, to let him hold her, to bask in it. She knows that Zack is here, too, but she thinks that of all people he would understand. He'd understand why she can't let go of Cloud and why she reaches for him, too, these two boys that changed her life a thousand times over.
Lifting her hand, she presses her palm flat over his eyes. ]
Wait for it...
[ And then she drops her hand away. ]
See! Still here.
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Even with all his convoluted feelings each scrambling for his attention, Cloud can't help but smile and cock his head to the side.] Just that easy, huh? I just need to wait a little bit?
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Just like that. All you have to do is call my name, wait a bit and then I'll be there. Okay?
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[ And she puts her hand on his chest, over his heart. ]
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Cloud chews on his lip, unconsciously scrubbing his hand through his hair in a very Zack gesture.] I don't know if you're being sappy or serious.
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[ She gives him a sliiiightly dirty look. ]
I mean it, Cloud!
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Goooood this is embarrassing, and he really should stop this...] It just sounds so...fairytale. You can't actually hear me from anywhere just if I say your name.
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She just grins, leaning back finally. ]
I could before! Why wouldn't it be the same now?
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