[ She's a little more interested in actually giving Cloud his kisses than she is in replying, but even she can't resist a little laugh against his mouth. ]
Nah. [This is sooooooo nice though, even though he's getting a little shy as his face goes pinker.] Uh. I haven't, um, kissed a whole lotta folks before, so...tell me if I suck at it, okay?
[THIS JUST IN: CLOUD IS SUPER WEAK TO PEOPLE SHYLY HIDING AGAINST HIM]
Wha, of course it was! [He drops their hands in favor of putting his arms around her and rubbing her back.] I could go into detail if you want us both to burst into flames or somethin'...
I think it's fair to say I'm definitely good with it. [Aahhhhh she's so soft and smells good and aasfhjvbj he's such a fucking idiot for not doing this before...everything.
The smile slips off Cloud's face but he still holds her, his cheek pressed to her hair as he stares out over this alien world that looks so much like their own.
[Cloud shakes his head, jaw set as he looks for the words he wants to say.] You make it sound like- like that's what has to happen. The Planet isn't solely your responsibility, Aerith; and people've learned better. They can look after the Planet themselves.
[Shakes his head again, tugging on her elbows a bit to draw her closer.] Then we'll stay here. You, and me, and Zack. We won't go back, not until we're old and gray and have lived as long as we can.
[Cloud turns to press his mouth into her palm, closing his eyes.] ...if you believe what everybody's saying, then whatever brought us here can send us back like no time's passed.
But even- [Cloud reaches up to hold onto her wrists gently,] -e-even if that's not true, this is what I wanna do. I've thought about it since we found each other again. Red, Cid, Yuffie, Vincent, Barret...even Tifa, she'd-
[Cloud stops himself before reaching to hold Aerith's face in return.] They'll be fine. And I miss them, so much, but I- I don't want to go back to a world where I'll never see you, or hear your voice or your laugh. I can't.
[ Aerith breathes out a quiet noise, shivering as she tilts closer to him, wanting to sink into his warmth and his kindness. ]
Cloud...
[ She puts her presents to one side, moving so that she can practically climb into his lap, mostly so that her arms can wrap around him and her body can press against his. She doesn't want to let go, and she can't, her arms tight and her eyes closed. Her stomach is churning, but she understands.
She can empathise. She doesn't want to give him up either. ]
I don't want to go back to a world where I can't be with you either. I... It's hard. Just watching. Knowing people are moving on.
[ Not forgetting, but... Mourning, and accepting, and... All she can do is settle and watch and bask in the Lifestream. ]
[She presses closer and he wraps his arms around her to pull her the rest of the way, a hand going to cradle the back of her head as he buries his face in the collar of her jacket, eyes stinging.
Even when she was hesitant back home, she'd always do her best to put on a smile and avoid worrying others. That she's even saying this aloud now...Cloud was worried he'd have more of a fight. Maybe what Zack had said to her had sunk in after all.]
I didn't move on, [Cloud whispers into her shoulder, holding her tight.] I just...moved. Put one foot in front of the other because there were things we had to do, but after they were done, I...I felt hollow.
[ She never wanted that. She never wanted Cloud to feel anything less than whole. She wanted to see the real him, to dig through the bravado and the nonsense and just... See him. Aerith knows she never really had the chance, and she had been prepared to sit in her new world and watch him grow and age and find a new kind of happiness.
Aerith wanted to be at his side. She wanted to stand with him. She wanted to be there, but... The Ancients had a different path to lead. She had found the Promised Land, and she had sunk into it with all the weight of her own personal duty and glory.
She shakes against him and wishes she was strong enough to smile. Faced with the reality of her own death, her own limited time with the people she loved... She hadn't known she was going to die when she was strong before. This is different. ]
I just... [ Her throat is tight. ] I don't want to let go.
It's okay, [Cloud whispers, picking up his head to rest his chin on her head, stroking her hair. She's always had to be the strong one, she's always tried to bear more than her fair share of the burden of responsibility. Doesn't Aerith, of all people, deserve to be taken care of now? Doesn't she deserve comfort?
That's why Zack had been so angry, and Cloud gets it now. Aerith always automatically assumes the responsibility for anything that goes wrong, and then convinces herself and everyone around her that it's for the best. Sometimes she needs to be challenged on that.
...and sometimes she needs to be held.] It's okay, [Cloud continues, kissing her temple,] you don't have to let go. I've got you, I've got you.
[ It's easy to be strong, that's what she thinks. It's easy because she can feel it in her bones, the way that the whole world leant upon her, waiting for her to crack - but she never did. She was the last of the Ancients, the last person who could speak to the planet, the last person capable of seeking out the whispers and finding the truth, of praying for Holy and knowing that she could guide it. She was the last one, and it had left her isolated, had left her lonely, had left her desperate for something else to anchor her.
Everyone had wanted her for something, before.The Turks, ShinRa, Hojo - so many people wanted her for what she was rather than who she was. Zack and Cloud and the others... They just saw the flower girl who wanted to bring warmth and light to the sad, underdog slums.
She doesn't want to go back to being a thing.
Still, even now, all she can think about is the gentle guilt she feels; Cloud wanted to take her on a nice date and she's ruined it by getting sniffly on him. ]
Okay. [ Her voice is quiet and soft. ] I believe you.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Is that bad?
no subject
no subject
Do you think I have, Mr. Cloud?
no subject
no subject
I've only kissed you and Zack, you know. That's it.
no subject
no subject
Was it good?
no subject
Wha, of course it was! [He drops their hands in favor of putting his arms around her and rubbing her back.] I could go into detail if you want us both to burst into flames or somethin'...
no subject
No, that's okay. [ She doesn't want to get any redder than she already is. ] As long as you like kissing me.
no subject
The smile slips off Cloud's face but he still holds her, his cheek pressed to her hair as he stares out over this alien world that looks so much like their own.
He's decided.]
no subject
This feeling... This is what she had wanted. With Cloud, before. That's what she knows. ]
I'm like it too.
no subject
Aerith...if the opportunity comes up where I can go home... I'm not going without you.
no subject
Cloud... [ When she shakes her head her hair goes with her. ] That's impossible.
no subject
no subject
Because I'm dead. I'm with the Lifestream now, and that's my duty. To watch over the Planet.
[ To watch over him, too. ]
no subject
no subject
But if we go back, Cloud, that's where I'll be. I'll be in the Lifestream.
no subject
no subject
no subject
But even- [Cloud reaches up to hold onto her wrists gently,] -e-even if that's not true, this is what I wanna do. I've thought about it since we found each other again. Red, Cid, Yuffie, Vincent, Barret...even Tifa, she'd-
[Cloud stops himself before reaching to hold Aerith's face in return.] They'll be fine. And I miss them, so much, but I- I don't want to go back to a world where I'll never see you, or hear your voice or your laugh. I can't.
no subject
Cloud...
[ She puts her presents to one side, moving so that she can practically climb into his lap, mostly so that her arms can wrap around him and her body can press against his. She doesn't want to let go, and she can't, her arms tight and her eyes closed. Her stomach is churning, but she understands.
She can empathise. She doesn't want to give him up either. ]
I don't want to go back to a world where I can't be with you either. I... It's hard. Just watching. Knowing people are moving on.
[ Not forgetting, but... Mourning, and accepting, and... All she can do is settle and watch and bask in the Lifestream. ]
no subject
Even when she was hesitant back home, she'd always do her best to put on a smile and avoid worrying others. That she's even saying this aloud now...Cloud was worried he'd have more of a fight. Maybe what Zack had said to her had sunk in after all.]
I didn't move on, [Cloud whispers into her shoulder, holding her tight.] I just...moved. Put one foot in front of the other because there were things we had to do, but after they were done, I...I felt hollow.
no subject
[ She never wanted that. She never wanted Cloud to feel anything less than whole. She wanted to see the real him, to dig through the bravado and the nonsense and just... See him. Aerith knows she never really had the chance, and she had been prepared to sit in her new world and watch him grow and age and find a new kind of happiness.
Aerith wanted to be at his side. She wanted to stand with him. She wanted to be there, but... The Ancients had a different path to lead. She had found the Promised Land, and she had sunk into it with all the weight of her own personal duty and glory.
She shakes against him and wishes she was strong enough to smile. Faced with the reality of her own death, her own limited time with the people she loved... She hadn't known she was going to die when she was strong before. This is different. ]
I just... [ Her throat is tight. ] I don't want to let go.
no subject
That's why Zack had been so angry, and Cloud gets it now. Aerith always automatically assumes the responsibility for anything that goes wrong, and then convinces herself and everyone around her that it's for the best. Sometimes she needs to be challenged on that.
...and sometimes she needs to be held.] It's okay, [Cloud continues, kissing her temple,] you don't have to let go. I've got you, I've got you.
no subject
Everyone had wanted her for something, before.The Turks, ShinRa, Hojo - so many people wanted her for what she was rather than who she was. Zack and Cloud and the others... They just saw the flower girl who wanted to bring warmth and light to the sad, underdog slums.
She doesn't want to go back to being a thing.
Still, even now, all she can think about is the gentle guilt she feels; Cloud wanted to take her on a nice date and she's ruined it by getting sniffly on him. ]
Okay. [ Her voice is quiet and soft. ] I believe you.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)